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Captain America: Civil War

The Marvel experiment comes to a wonderful and satisfying conclusion, for now, at least, in the studio’s most mature and grey outing yet.

Starring EVERYONE!
Written by: Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely
Directed by: Joe and Anthony Russo
Rated ‘PG-13’ for cinematic violence, national security, intense situations, revenge and splosions
Runtime 146 minutes
Release 5/6/16

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Fantastic Four

A fantastic bore. A fantastic snore. A fantastic chore. A fantastic five…shots of alcohol.

Starring a big middle finger
Written by: a bunch of jerks
Directed by: the Millennial id personified
Rated ‘PG-13′ for bullshit
Runtime 100 infinite minutes
Release it was. Unfortunately.

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Ant-Man

The little (Thomas the Tank) Engine that could…

Starring Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly and Michael Pena
Written by: Edgar Wright, Joe Cornish, Adam McKay, Paul Rudd
Directed by: Peyton Reed
Rated ‘PG-13′ for superhero shenanigans you’ve come to expect
Runtime 117 minutes
Release 7/17/2015